I’m in Marina [Del Ray], at Fisherman's Village, sitting in the car, typing on my laptop when this girl showed up with her presumably boyfriend, Fithc. Her Fisher boots drew my attention. OK, fine! Something else, too! It’s not like I was stalking her. She came and parked her legs in front of me, waiting for the fishing boat that…you guessed it! Will take a whole bunch of other fishing sports enthusiasts.
Really, what’s with the boots here? You’re going on a fishing boat! Not to Lake Placid!
Here’s a possible scenario which might have gone through her head: Suddenly, the fishing boat starts to sink and water filling into the deck. The booted girl is calm and watching others in panic and, the instructor saying, “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! Thank you for joining us today in this sinking boat. The life-jackets are behind you and please stay calm. It’s only a sinking matter. And you, lady, with the fishing boots! Grab-a-life-jacket! Cripes, whatddaya waitin for, David Hasselhoff from Bay Watch?” The booted girl looks confused and answers the Instructor, “Who? Me?” Then she points at her booted feet, “I’m fine! Here, I have the boots!”
“And you’re gonna drown wearing those stupid boots!” yells the Instructor back.
See, women are like that. For them you can never be too careful. And I bet, she was the one who talked Fitch into buying those boots. and Fitch, like most men, only obliged by thinking she was right, God forbid a Titanic moment, or he just didn’t want to hear the nagging.
Don’t you just get so upset and choke the woman next to you while driving? Women, suddenly, transform into a Driver School Teacher while you’re behind the wheel. “ Honey, slow down, change lane before the lights, you’re too close, It’s green, go!" And on and on…As if you always come home with a dent on the car and broken arm when she’s not with you.
I witnessed an incident where I was riding in the back of a friend’s car while his wife sat next to him, and I was just about to ask him, “Hey, Steve, how’s the marriage going now you have a baby in the cradle to rock?” Rock was the word when I suddenly see a hand move in the air in the transonic to supersonic speed and hear the sharp crack sound of a bullwhip-slap (a.k.a. 'Cow-Whips' ) after it hits him across the face, like you hear F-18 Jet breaking the sound barrier after it passes above your head. That’s how fast it was. To this day, we’ve never talked about it…because after sometime, he’s just took off with his only leather jacket and never looked back.
Really, what’s with the boots here? You’re going on a fishing boat! Not to Lake Placid!
Here’s a possible scenario which might have gone through her head: Suddenly, the fishing boat starts to sink and water filling into the deck. The booted girl is calm and watching others in panic and, the instructor saying, “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! Thank you for joining us today in this sinking boat. The life-jackets are behind you and please stay calm. It’s only a sinking matter. And you, lady, with the fishing boots! Grab-a-life-jacket! Cripes, whatddaya waitin for, David Hasselhoff from Bay Watch?” The booted girl looks confused and answers the Instructor, “Who? Me?” Then she points at her booted feet, “I’m fine! Here, I have the boots!”
“And you’re gonna drown wearing those stupid boots!” yells the Instructor back.
See, women are like that. For them you can never be too careful. And I bet, she was the one who talked Fitch into buying those boots. and Fitch, like most men, only obliged by thinking she was right, God forbid a Titanic moment, or he just didn’t want to hear the nagging.
Don’t you just get so upset and choke the woman next to you while driving? Women, suddenly, transform into a Driver School Teacher while you’re behind the wheel. “ Honey, slow down, change lane before the lights, you’re too close, It’s green, go!" And on and on…As if you always come home with a dent on the car and broken arm when she’s not with you.
I witnessed an incident where I was riding in the back of a friend’s car while his wife sat next to him, and I was just about to ask him, “Hey, Steve, how’s the marriage going now you have a baby in the cradle to rock?” Rock was the word when I suddenly see a hand move in the air in the transonic to supersonic speed and hear the sharp crack sound of a bullwhip-slap (a.k.a. 'Cow-Whips' ) after it hits him across the face, like you hear F-18 Jet breaking the sound barrier after it passes above your head. That’s how fast it was. To this day, we’ve never talked about it…because after sometime, he’s just took off with his only leather jacket and never looked back.
Don’t talk over my wheel when I’m driving.
I told this story many times before and I’ll keep telling it until women shut the fuck up when men driving. Some will email me and say, Not all women are the same! If you’re gonna email me, make sure to attach a notarized certificate of your mental history and that you’re not the one who was on ten o’clock news, escaped from Psyche Ward 5 in UC Davis.
I swerve the car toward the sidewalk and hit the brakes, the car is half on the street half on the sidewalk of Avenue des Champs-Élysées, in Paris. “Are you smarter than the Japanese” I ask my French girlfriend at the time. She looks at me with a confused expression in her eyes. “What?”
“I asked you if you’re smarter than the Japanese. Because, this car is made in Japan, by Japanese engineers, and they thought of only one steering wheel and one driver. Had they thought that this car needs two steering wheels and two drivers, I’m sure, they would’ve added a second one. But, they haven’t. They made only one fucking steering wheel! You know why? Because they know that only one driver should be driving this car. Now, are you gonna let me be that Japanese-Thought-Sufficient-Driver?”
I’m sure some man somewhere is beating on the wheels if only in his mind while I’m typing these words. Good luck, buddy!
I swerve the car toward the sidewalk and hit the brakes, the car is half on the street half on the sidewalk of Avenue des Champs-Élysées, in Paris. “Are you smarter than the Japanese” I ask my French girlfriend at the time. She looks at me with a confused expression in her eyes. “What?”
“I asked you if you’re smarter than the Japanese. Because, this car is made in Japan, by Japanese engineers, and they thought of only one steering wheel and one driver. Had they thought that this car needs two steering wheels and two drivers, I’m sure, they would’ve added a second one. But, they haven’t. They made only one fucking steering wheel! You know why? Because they know that only one driver should be driving this car. Now, are you gonna let me be that Japanese-Thought-Sufficient-Driver?”
I’m sure some man somewhere is beating on the wheels if only in his mind while I’m typing these words. Good luck, buddy!
Most men think they know women. Even Einstein was helpless when it came to women. Women fail to know women. Ever seldom we hear a celebrity woman caught cheating. All of them men. That’s only enough to tell you how smart men are about women.
According to studies, cheating is typically done by three types of men: those with low self-esteem, those who are unhappy at home and those who are afraid of commitment and are seeking 'fun love’. How’s this for bullshit? Fun Love? Please! It simply means: It used to be fun, but it’s not fun with your partner and it’s called ‘Boring’. Afraid of commitment? We’re talking about men who’ve been married a decade or more.
See Also: Tiger Woods
See also: Arnold Swarzenegger
See Also: Bill Clinton
See Also: Hugh Grant
According to studies, cheating is typically done by three types of men: those with low self-esteem, those who are unhappy at home and those who are afraid of commitment and are seeking 'fun love’. How’s this for bullshit? Fun Love? Please! It simply means: It used to be fun, but it’s not fun with your partner and it’s called ‘Boring’. Afraid of commitment? We’re talking about men who’ve been married a decade or more.
See Also: Tiger Woods
See also: Arnold Swarzenegger
See Also: Bill Clinton
See Also: Hugh Grant
Having the access to a woman under the right time and the right circumstances all men cheat with not necessarily better looking , and, actually below status than their current partner in looks and intelligence. Women are no different here, only pickier than men.
How many of you, men, know about a fashionable female shoes? Please raise a hand. Just one! Sir, please, sit down. The Fetishist Anonymous is on the second floor. No men, unless a fetishist, is turned on by a pair of high-heel shoes. Turned on by the swaying right and left butt in a tight skirt caused by the high-heels. Women know that. Women wear and make-up for other women. OhMyGod! They’re in constant watch for one another and only the eyes of other women can derail a woman…
Women also know what part of their body is beautiful. And that’s all you’re going to see through a half decade of your relationship or marriage. They won’t give you everything at once. Women are a bit stingy in that department. It’ll take as long as it took Columbus, and his precedecor, to discover only part of America. Men are stupid, and you heard that expression before million times! Why men are stupid? Ask your woman and you’ll get more and better answers than me, though not necessarily ground and sound ones. What is ground and sound, however, is that men are like dogs. They’re everywhere. Ten years ago, there were only men, dogs and cops on the streets, well, beside hookers, and even among them were half men in women dress. Now, they’re on the Internet, invading every nook and cranny of it. Want to lure them out to know the colossal population of them? Just post an image with a pair of boobs, legs or a part of flesh of a woman. Even, a shaved man’s legs will do, and won’t know the difference.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I’m not a dog. I’m just no longer one and went through evolution, leaving adolescence behind when my heart would lose a beat at a sight of well-shaped butt in a fit jeans. See, how far a pair of fishing boots (?) brought me?
I bet this image will be viewed, favored and commented on Facebook and Flickr more than all the images I have recently posted. Or not! Just because I said so and to prove me wrong, some (women at most) will not comment on this image. Go ahead, make my decades! Either way, I'm always right!
How many of you, men, know about a fashionable female shoes? Please raise a hand. Just one! Sir, please, sit down. The Fetishist Anonymous is on the second floor. No men, unless a fetishist, is turned on by a pair of high-heel shoes. Turned on by the swaying right and left butt in a tight skirt caused by the high-heels. Women know that. Women wear and make-up for other women. OhMyGod! They’re in constant watch for one another and only the eyes of other women can derail a woman…
Women also know what part of their body is beautiful. And that’s all you’re going to see through a half decade of your relationship or marriage. They won’t give you everything at once. Women are a bit stingy in that department. It’ll take as long as it took Columbus, and his precedecor, to discover only part of America. Men are stupid, and you heard that expression before million times! Why men are stupid? Ask your woman and you’ll get more and better answers than me, though not necessarily ground and sound ones. What is ground and sound, however, is that men are like dogs. They’re everywhere. Ten years ago, there were only men, dogs and cops on the streets, well, beside hookers, and even among them were half men in women dress. Now, they’re on the Internet, invading every nook and cranny of it. Want to lure them out to know the colossal population of them? Just post an image with a pair of boobs, legs or a part of flesh of a woman. Even, a shaved man’s legs will do, and won’t know the difference.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying I’m not a dog. I’m just no longer one and went through evolution, leaving adolescence behind when my heart would lose a beat at a sight of well-shaped butt in a fit jeans. See, how far a pair of fishing boots (?) brought me?
I bet this image will be viewed, favored and commented on Facebook and Flickr more than all the images I have recently posted. Or not! Just because I said so and to prove me wrong, some (women at most) will not comment on this image. Go ahead, make my decades! Either way, I'm always right!
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